Firstly, I’d like to say hello to all the people who have Googled “people in Padmé costumes having sex.” Welcome. Also, I’m sorry to disappoint, but there is no costumed sex going on here, either in my Padmé costume or in anyone else’s. Well, at least as far as I know and am concerned.

Moving right along . . . Bat A and I had a good long phone conversation last night, and while it was a great talk, I’m only going to share the backstory bits. The rest is private and will stay that way, ’cause you don’t really need to know it. So there. And here, finally, is the history of the boulevard, and how the violence started.

If you’ve seen Confessions of a Superhero (I still haven’t, though I will when Catwoman gets back), then you’re familiar with Max, the “original” Batman. He was the only Batman, mainly because he would thrash anyone else who tried the costume, and it was only after he’d been arrested and banned from the Walk that the others came out. But Bat A was ballsy, and came out in a different Batman costume. He made a point of introducing himself to Max and saying that he respected his work, and wherever Max was, A would go in the opposite direction. Max appeared to be okay with this, but later on he went up to every character and demanded to know who had brought Bat A to the boulevard. He even went up to a female character and said, “Are you the slut who brought this guy out?” Sounds like a real charmer, too bad we never had the pleasure of working together! *rolls eyes* But Bat A managed to stay out of Max’s way until he got booted, and I guess paved the way for the other Bats to come out afterwards.

As for the story Storm Trooper told yesterday about Tinkerbell “starting it all,” it seems to be mostly true. Bat A said that the rappers had actually threatened Tink and Sexy Cop, along with other women, with physical violence, threatening to “punch [them] in the face,” and other charming, assholey things. Bat A and a few other gentlemen stepped up, and got themselves marked. He expressed no regret whatsoever for this, doesn’t blame the women at all, and knowing him, he’d do the same thing again in a heartbeat even if he knew what would happen next.

So ever since then he and his friends have been singled out by the rappers. The ones hawking CDs and DVDs don’t do the dirty work, they call in a second string who come armed with brass knuckles, come up from behind masked characters with limited eyesight, knock them out cold, and then gang beat them. Sounds like a bunch of pussies to me, though maybe it’s just because five against one isn’t a fair fight to me. And maybe I’m biased because I count some of these guys as my friends, not just colleagues, and it makes me angry to the point that I shake uncontrollably that this is happening.

Christmas Day Bat A went to the police and news agencies trying to get attention brought to the escalating violence. He was on the boulevard, and got a group of guys together to go to the cops. In the confusion Freddie was left behind for only a few minutes, and in that time the second string was called, they knocked Freddie out from behind, and he got his head kicked in. Bat A said that Freddie looked pretty good when I saw him, which was true, but his nose had been broken in two places and his eyesight isn’t that great because of the shiner I’d seen. Freddie was targeted because he was a friend and ally of Bat A, which is just shit. ‘Scuse the language, but this whole situation is just a bunch of bullshit started by a bunch of vaginas feeling threatened because their stupid albums don’t sell well on a streetcorner when you try to con people into buying them, and they feel that the reason they’re not doing well is because of the characters. The people who just stand there and let people approach them for business, not the beggar characters or the guys pushing CDs into your hands. What the bloody hell?

I was so angry when he’d told me all of this, and offered whatever I could. I’ll spy on those rappers, I’ll work with the cops and detectives, whatever it takes. I will get involved. I’m tallish and very thin, but mean. I’ve only been in one fist fight in my life, but she was left unconscious while I walked away untouched, and I know how to inflict damage. I’m very protective and territorial of my people, and if I see anything happening, I’m going to jump in without thinking. I don’t care about my stupid costumes (not that I’ve spent hundreds or thousands on them) or about getting some bruises, I’ll get my part in. I’m getting mace and I’ll use it, even if I’m not the one threatened. It’s just wrong to know this is happening and not help out in some way. I really hope it doesn’t come to violence, but with the way things have been escalating, I’m not going to back away from it. I’d rather live with a broken arm than live with the knowledge that I just sat around and watched someone get beaten into a coma.

The saddest part of all is the fact that he’s leaving January second. It’s all very sudden and last minute, but this is a lot to deal with, along with other things he’d been grappling with in his personal life, so I don’t blame him at all. Personally, I’m sad in a selfish way because I was really looking forward to working with him and Catwoman as a Bat trio, but there are more important things than having fun. I have lots to do today (I know, you can’t tell it by how often I’m on here, but I write fast and I don’t do drafts), but tomorrow I think I’ll go out just to see him one last time and say my goodbyes. Hopefully he’ll be back for summer and we’ll have some fun then, and ideally things will improve drastically. I really hope that the situation with the rappers is resolved by then, and I’m going to do what I can to see that it is. And maybe their number one target being gone for a while will take the piss out of them. Apparently while I was out for Christmas they went around to every character and promised more violence, which scared one of our Jack Sparrows away for a few months. I really hope it wasn’t Denim, ’cause I haven’t seen him since. If it was, I’m going to be doubly pissed at these asshats. The boulevard’s charm is already suffering because of these jerks, and to push away all the good people and only leave the homeless crackheads that are too out of it to realize what’s going on or feel threatened is just bollocks. It’ll tarnish the quirky image the boulevard has and actually hurt H&H’s business. Who wants to walk that block of Hollywood Boulevard when the only entertainment around is overpriced tourist traps and ratty beggars snatching your children from your hands for a photo op? Or a bunch of thugs pressing shitty, handwritten CDs in paper sleeves into your hands and then demanding $10? Might as well go to fucking Tijuana and get shot while you’re at it, it’ll be the same experience.

Or maybe I’m just angry and bitter because I had a small taste of the golden days and know how good it could have been.