Sidewalk Superheroes

I really have to be more careful when typing. When I was uploading new pictures to Flickr just now, twice I typed in this blog’s address as hhherpes.wordpress.com. Um. That must be Paris Hilton’s blog. Just a warning to those of you who think that one letter can’t make that big a difference.

So today was another busy day, though time seemed to move slower today. I did better financially for nearly the same amount of time, but we had more down time and more people trying to stiff us today. Vader lost his temper again and refused to pose for a photo until people had paid up, because too many people would say, “Okay, I know how it works” impatiently before the photos, then pretend to not know English or think one dollar would suffice for four people. Right. Be careful, if you’re thinking of stiffing any masked character, folks. They have mouths and they talk some mean shit, and you can’t even hear because of the masks — but everyone else can. Also, some of us will follow at a discreet distance and warn other characters that you’re a deadbeat so you don’t scam anyone else. Okay, I do that when I can. So don’t think you’re clever and you’ve found a new way to scam people, we know it all. Most of the time we just let you get away with it while calling you retarded or an asshat, just so you know. You’re not smart, but we’ll let you keep thinking you are.

Eh, I hate having to warn the baddies and talk trash all the time, but every day, everyone thinks they’re the first to pull that crap. When you get pulled over for speeding, do you really think you’re the first jerk with a lame excuse when you blather to the cop? He puts up with that for a living, just as we put up with tightwads who’ll blow $50 at some crap tourist restaurant for a cheeseburger, but won’t pay $1 for a picture with someone who spent a lot on an awesome costume, is in character the whole time, and plays with your kid. And you call us stupid?

So. Today was pretty good, besides the walking stiffs. Despite not being in a lot of photos because people are lame and don’t want chicks with guns (so no Lara Croft costume), I did better than yesterday, which is nice. I like doing well financially. That means I can pay my bills and eat! And if I can manage to keep doing well after the new year, then I can save up for costume upgrades and new good costumes. Oh, and my trip to Scotland this summer. Can’t forget that.

The only downside about it being as busy as it has been is that I can’t really wander around and hobnob with the other characters, or even really see who else is working unless they’re directly around me. This guy came by, though:

I laughed and had to take a picture, which he was cool with, and didn’t ask for a tip or anything.
“I just want to get famous for doing nothing,” he said honestly.
“That seems to be pretty popular these days,” I said, and he laughed.

Oh, here’s some more drama for you. Yesterday there was Miss Unidentifiable and Yoda poaching from the edges of our crowd. Today Anakin and his girlfriend, who I’ll call Super Princess, were already there when I came and she was dressed in her Supergirl costume again. Shortly afterwards, Super Braces and Bat Beggar showed up and set up shop right in front of Super Princess. Excessively rude! Anakin had his lady’s back and went over to nicely ask them to move, and Super Braces gave him some broken English sass.
“Okay, let’s see how you like me ruining all your pictures,” he said, and stood directly in front of them with his double-bladed Darth Maul lightsaber.
We were watching from our usual spot and laughing, but the bitches still didn’t give up! Anakin returned after about ten minutes and said he felt bad for the people foolish enough to take pictures with those stupid girls.
“Just throw their bags into the street,” Vader suggested, pointing to the girls’ knapsacks with their clothes. They’d taken to just throwing the bags on the sidewalk, and probably wouldn’t notice right away if someone snatched them away. I have to admit, it sounded tempting. Those dumb tarts had tried poaching from Catwoman and I, along with Miss Unidentifiable, our last couple of days together, and I just know they’re going to get worse when I bring out my new and improved Batgirl costume once Catwoman’s back. I was already getting the stink eye from Bat Beggar, and I’m sure she’ll feel justified in cutting into my business once it comes back out. To which I say bring it, ’cause I know I’m better and I don’t have to trick people into posing with me. I have the power to make men walk into lampposts and trees without saying a word, she can’t hold a candle to me. Hah!

Anyway, the tarts eventually moved off, and we moved Super Princess between the Star Wars group and Optimus Prime, which actually helped her business even more. She was a bit further away from the begging sisters and the kiosk nearby compressed traffic to be closer to her, which drew people even more to her. I asked her which did better, Supergirl or the Disney princesses, and she said definitely Supergirl. Sex will always do better than the classics, apparently. Okay, good to know!

MJ stopped by to say hi again, and squeeze me again, then came back around to ask me if I wanted to go out tonight. That makes two nights in a row (he texted last night after I’d been home for hours, and I begged off because I am still recovering from illness, and also because I don’t ever want to be trapped alone with him and Davy). I said no because I wasn’t going to stay late and still wasn’t over my cold, and thankfully my nose was sounding pretty stuffed up. I don’t feel bad at all, but once the sun drops out of sight behind the buildings the breeze picks up and it gets chilly, and my nose starts going. Maybe when Catwoman’s back I’ll be up to dealing with lecherous boys again.

Oh! Speaking of lecherous boys, Freddie Krueger stopped by with Bat A. It was the first time he’d been around since the beating, and it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. He had a really nasty shiner on his right eye, but his eye was completely open, and the left side of his mouth was stitched up from being split open. He seemed in pretty good spirits, which was cool, and openly talked about the fight. He had been jumped from behind and knocked out straightaway, and then they had kicked him in the face a few times. Bat A had apparently been there at the time, because Freddie said, “He left me for just five minutes to get the police,” so I was proud of him. Bat A’s had his share of being jumped, and I’m glad he’d help out someone else in trouble.
Bat A was wandering around saying hi to everyone, and I hadn’t seen him work all weekend (though I’m pretty much glued to one spot), so I’m not sure what’s going on. He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and I asked him how his Christmas was, to which he replied, “Horrible,” and moved off. I said I was sorry to hear it, but he looked depressed and wandered off. Hmm. As Freddie was moving off he asked when Catwoman was coming back, and when I told him the date, he said, “Okay, I want to ask her out with me!” and laughed. I gotta say, I’m impressed with how quickly he’s bouncing back.

The Joker was there, also the first time I’d seen him since before Christmas, and he kept stopping by to say ridiculous things in my ear and squeeze me. What is it with the Padmé costume that makes people want to squeeze me? Do I really look that much like a roll of toilet paper? Anyway, he seemed to be in a really good mood and said he’d had a great Christmas, so maybe that’s why Bat A was in a sour mood. I don’t know what else has gone on between them since the fight with the ironing board last week, but maybe Bat A’s still feeling awkward around Joker. I just hope it doesn’t get any worse between them, because I like them both and don’t want to feel forced into choosing sides, because I won’t.

Wonder Wig appeared later in the day, still working her lame Catwoman get-up, but no one seems to want to work with her. Scary Catwoman had been working with the Captain all afternoon and was shooting dagger eyes at Wonder Wig, so there may be a fight there soon. Wonder Wig has resorted to chasing after any Bats on the boulevard and hanging around the leftover characters. All the good characters, like Denim and the other ones we’re really friendly with, know that she’s a user now and will gently but firmly keep her at arm’s length. She doesn’t talk to me anymore, except to ask where Bat A is when he’s out, and I’m fine with that. She’s tried to steal Catwoman’s costume and failed, and she can try and steal my Bat (and my fun) and fail too.

Vader said he’d call up my former favourite Lennon impersonator from the Fab Four and see about getting us tickets to see their show January 3rd, so I may be seeing them for the first time in over four years soon. That’s really nice of him, and I’m excited. There was a time when my sister and I were pretty close to them, before it got all dramatic and stupid and the wrong people started coming ’round, and I’d like to see them just for the music for once. I doubt they’d even remember or recognize me after all this time, but I’d like to be able to just say hi and apologize for the stupidness of the people I was around, and maybe get one last hug from Lennon. It’s so strange to know I’ve seen Vader and Trooper at those shows, because I vaguely remember them now, and now work with them. I know I said this yesterday, but it’s still blowing my mind.