Sidewalk Superheroes

I may have waited a bit too long to catch up; now I can’t remember what happened which day. Not that very much happened, really, but if you’re a stickler for detail, I’m afraid you’re out of luck today. It really is getting quite dull out on the boulevard. Maybe it’s because we’re only there during daylight, around lunchtime, or maybe it’s because we’re still adjusting to the loss of Denim and Bat A, but we’ve actually been begging for something, anything to happen. Well, at least there’s pictures.

When we showed up on Friday there was a wreath on the walk, and it’s force of habit for the characters to say, “Who died?” and run over to investigate. It turned out to be on Johnny Grant’s star, and he’s already dead. He was the honorary mayor of Hollywood and had quite a scathing review of the boulevard characters when interviewed for Confessions of a Superhero (pretty rich coming from the guy who “wanted to bring the Hollywood story to everyone” — I guess that doesn’t apply to the wannabe actors in costume out there), and it was the one year anniversary of his death. Eh.

Anyway, business was still pretty slow, especially for it being a Friday. Bat M was there, the first time we’d seen him in quite a while, and I sort of wished I got hangovers and was still hungover so I could have an excuse to brush him off. I thought the time away would make things more bearable, but I still want to vomit in a gutter when cornered. Anyway, he kept saying, “I can’t believe how slow it is! It feels like a Thursday.” Of course, he has to say the exact same phrase at least five times, which would make you think he was obsessive compulsive if you didn’t know him.

There were also some new faces — well, new to us — out that day. There was a new Wonder Woman, a very sweet girl who’s very friendly and I like, even though I haven’t talked to her a lot. She already knows about Scary Catwoman and warns us when Scary’s out, and in return I gave her my boot supplier. I’m really serious about my multi-coloured go-go boots and I found a good company I’m going to use as much as possible, so it feels like an even trade to me. 🙂 There was also a new Jack Sparrow, and honestly, I can’t even think up nicknames fast enough for these guys. This one had his girlfriend teaming up as a redheaded pirate wench (she showed up the next day as Elizabeth Swann), so at least there’s some way of telling them all apart:

I had to snipe them, since we don’t really know each other and I don’t like taking posed pictures of other characters because it incites the sniper tourists to freeload, as opposed to just asking for pictures themselves. So my camera was a jerk and focused on the wrong thing. Eh.

Speaking of snipers, they must have a giant club that booked a group tour, because the entire weekend was nothing but. Though there weren’t thick crowds, there should have been more business than we all got. And it wasn’t just Catwoman and I, every character got stiffed. A lot. Vader and Storm Trooper and Optimus will all turn their backs on the crowd and face the street until someone approaches them for a valid picture, and now I finally see why they do it. I used to just turn my head, or move quickly to blur their picture, and I even started putting my hand in front of my face, beckoning the sniper to take a legitimate posed picture, but I get really tired of people ignoring me or laughing at me. Like I’m there all day for my health. So I just look right at them, make eye contact, and turn away before they can snap. You can get all the free pictures of my arse that you want. It’s a great arse, looks good in PVC, but if you’re going to be discourteous enough to sneak and then pretend not knowing English or just walk away when I’m nicely talking to you, then you deserve shitty, blurred pictures. The people that get this treatment know the rules and just think they’re above them, like the rules are for everyone else. These are the same people who run red lights, still talk on their cell phones without headsets (illegal here), and do other assholey things that hurt other people but think nothing of it because it doesn’t affect them. Sometimes it’s even a test of wills, because the more determined snipers (the ones with websites or blogs that will poach good pictures and then sell them without tipping us) will sit and wait for five or ten minutes with the camera at their eye until a character finally gets tired and turns around or is asked for a picture from someone else.

Anyway, while that was the recurring and very annoying theme of the past few days, there was some entertainment. This, for example:

I really really love red plaid, so I was eating this couple up! And I just noticed his red and black argyle socks in the lower picture, another favourite of mine. Maybe I was meant to be Scottish, with my love of plaids, argyles and Fair Isle patterns. Anyway, I should have asked to take a picture with them.

Catwoman finally got to meet Anakin and Super Princess as well, since they appeared. Anakin was in a really great Green Arrow costume that day:

(we had to explain it to Catwoman, ’cause she’s not a nerd or fangirl), and Super Princess was sticking with what works. They were hanging around Bat T, and I went to get a picture, but freaking Bat M had to keep wrecking all my pictures:

It was the first time I’d seen them since the new year, so it was good to have them around again. I’m sure they’ll be around for the summer, so hopefully I can work near them with my hot weather costume. Shall I tell what it is, or wait and surprise? I can’t decide.

Um . . . I don’t know. The days sort of blur together because nothing much happened. Jerri Blank is much more chatty, now that we’ve shown her we’ll be around for a while and not break her heart by suddenly leaving (her story for being hesitant about befriending new characters), and liberally discusses the upstart new Marilyns who are ungrateful and rude to her. I don’t even know which ones she gets along with and which one she doesn’t, because there’s so many. There’s her, Dutch Marilyn, Baby Marilyn (not seen in quite a while), Elvis Marilyn (the one who always seems to work with Fat Elvis), and now a new Charlize Theron lookalike. She’s actually quite cute and all of the guys are all over her, which makes Catwoman and I laugh/cringe. At least it was spread out between the two of us, but she seems to be handling the attention quite well. I’m sure she’s more used to it than some stick like me. Anyway, if I can ever catch her alone I’d like to talk to her and learn her story.

On Sunday someone brought puppies to the boulevard!

Oh, they were so cute! Even Vader and Storm Trooper stopped to coo over them and get some pets in. That’s actually what caught my attention. So we got our pets in and took some pictures with the cuties:

That made the day worthwhile. We talked with Vader and Storm Trooper for a while and just stood around. Vader got a new rockin’ helmet that set him back quite a bit. I don’t want to say how much, in case there’s some dick out there who thinks it’d be funny to do some damage, but suffice it to say, it’s much more than I’d ever spent on a costume. Though I’m starting to work my way up into the more expensive, serious costuming. I don’t count what I make as expensive because I never count my time as money, though I guess I should. But I’ve been shopping around for custom cast resin pieces for my summer costume and even unfinished and unpainted, that’s $200-300. Add another hundred if I want the maker to do the sanding and painting for me, and I’d still have to get fabric and cut up a pair of boots and sew it all together myself. This is where it starts to get crazy. But I hate the storeboughts and love being as accurate as possible, so that is always more.

Anyway, Monday was the worst day by far. I got there before Catwoman and was stuck talking to Bat M, and I made the mistake of complaining about the snipers.
“I don’t let it bother me, or I try not to let it bother me,” he said.
“Yeah, but when I’m only making $7 a day and I have bills to pay . . .” I groused.
“I know it, I know it, but I try not to let it get to me anyway. I know what it’s like. I sold everything to move out here. I sold my tools, my car, I sold everything to move out here.” I really need to stress the fact that I’m not over exaggerating his redundancy, too.
“Still, most of the snipers here have seen how it works and just play stupid to keep from paying,” I said. I was cranky.
“Yeah, but I don’t like to turn away or turn my back like Bat A or some other characters do.” Yes, he still complains about Bat A every chance he gets. “I think it shows a bad attitude and it’ll put off other people, it’ll put them off and I won’t get business.”
“The legitimate people will approach either way,” I said. I’ve been staring at the street and someone will tap me for a photo, so that’s rubbish. If someone wants a photo, they’ll ask for it.
“Yeah, but I don’t like to turn my back on them or give them a bad attitude,” he kept saying. That’s nice, but I wasn’t fucking asking! I had only been out there ten minutes and I already wanted to throw him under one of those decrepit thirdhand double decker buses from London that are always parked out front.
“Bat m is very chatty & smelly today,” I texted Catwoman. He was too busy droning on to even notice or care that I wasn’t listening, that I was actually talking shit about him right in front of him. Sleazy tactic? Probably, but I dare you to not be tempted by the low road around him. There’s a reason every single character has a perfect impression of Bat M on the boulevard.

We did end up making a bit of money, but between buying smoothies because it was hot and having to buy a pint at the Pig n’ Whistle for a project of mine, it wasn’t profitable. *sigh* I wish a lot of things: that the economy wasn’t so awful, that people were more understanding of different views and lives, that things weren’t so expensive, but mostly I just wish that this job would work. It’s fun, I like the freedom and (usually) the appreciation for quality and attention to detail, and if you’ve read from the beginning, then you know the entertainment factor is usually through the roof. Like the fact that Homeless Boyfriend reappeared, shirtless, and people were apparently approaching him and asking if he was Tarzan. He kept muttering, “I don’t know what this Tarzan stuff is,” and then people would hear and say, “Hey, are you Tarzan?” which would in turn set him off even more. Still, I think I was a little happy to see him, if only to know he was okay. He doesn’t recognize me anymore, but that’s okay. Maybe he’s kissing the ground at someone else’s feet.

Well, at least I had good fodder for my latest venture. Belle and Sebastian just had a contest to redesign the album cover for their new BBC Sessions album, and I managed to submit three:

We’ll see how it goes. 🙂