Sidewalk Superheroes

It’s 12:03 AM, so I’m technically writing about yesterday. But I’m a night owl, and I don’t consider the next day to have started until the sun’s coming up, so I’m going to be referring to the events of February 2nd as “today.” Just so we’re clear, because I am weird. In case you hadn’t noticed that a woman blogging as Batgirl and Padmé Amidala working on Hollywood Boulevard was less than normal.

Anyway, Wonder Cat and I decided sort of at the last minute on Sunday evening to work the next morning. I was actually hoping that I could have worked sometime on Sunday, though I knew it was going to suck because everyone would be watching the StuporBowl (TM me), but I don’t go out there alone, so there’s that. We get to Hollywood & Highland at around 10:30, and as we’re crossing Hollywood Boulevard on Highland, we notice that half the street is closed. Something’s going on, we just don’t know what.
“Ooh, maybe it’ll help us,” Wonder Cat hopes.
“We need it!”

When we actually get out onto the street, though, we only see Homeless Jack at first, so I was a bit worried. But we decide to keep walking, and Sexy Cop is coming towards us. I still felt awkward around her, because there was the whole Bat A I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on thing when I had no idea what was going on (hence the title I gave it), and all of that. But she comes up and nicely explains that today is the premiere for He’s Just Not That Into You, some stupid rom-com I don’t care about that stars people I don’t care for. I’m far too picky for having grown up in LA and having worked Hollywood for years. Anyway, she said that while business was briefly good when she came out at 9:30, it was starting to drop off already and the set up for the premiere was going to hurt business anymore. I swore, kind of a lot, and thanked her for giving us a heads up. She goes off to try her luck in front of the Kodak, and we keep on to the Chinese Theatre. A large group of young Japanese schoolgirls come up and surround us, and if they would have been blonde, I would have sworn that we had been transported into Children of the Corn. They just surrounded us and stared. We said hi, waved, asked if they wanted to take pictures or shake hands, anything, but they just stared at us.
“What should we do?” Wonder Cat hissed from the side of her mouth.
“I don’t know! This is really creepy,” I reply.
“I know.” After a few minutes, the girls’ handler, some snappy older man, comes up and herds them off, and we say goodbye and wave. A few girls wave back, but they leave without a word. Really bizarre.

We move on and say hi to Charlie Chaplin and a few others, and Jerri Blank Marilyn stops by to say hi as well. Sexy Cop reappears after about only five minutes, saying it was even worse in front of the Kodak. Dang. A small group of Japanese men take turns posing with us in all sorts of strange combinations, and they pull Sexy Cop over to do a few group pictures with us. For about 10 pictures we get $1 each, and after being pushy and snappy with us, they abruptly leave.
“Um, was it okay that I worked with you guys?” Sexy Cop asked meekly. Oh! We were both quick to say yes, of course it was fine, and the guys wanted her with us, so it definitely wasn’t a problem. I guess it was just a little sad that she thought we’d be miffed because the guys wanted her with us. Then she asked if they were as stingy with us as they were with her, and when we said yes, we all bonded over bitching over that group. Then we just kept talking, and working together, and we ended up sticking with her for the whole two hours we were there.

It was a slow day, and eventually everyone was booted from the front of the Chinese Theatre, but we each made about $12, so I guess it wasn’t totally abysmal. And we finally got to talk to Sexy Cop, and I feel better now that there doesn’t seem to be any bad blood between us anymore. I guess bitching about Bat M and his selfishness, and his stupid hatred for Bat A can bring anyone closer, though. 😉

So while it was a pretty dull day, at least something good came of it, and I’m glad it happened. She also told a funny story about using her pepper spray the other night that I’d like to share. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, ’cause it just adds to her reputation of being a chick you don’t want to mess with. So the other night she was out working with Tinkerbell and a few of her other friends that come out, and she and Tink were both posing for pictures near each other. As Tink was finishing her picture, she noticed some guy getting ready to snap a picture of Sexy Cop’s ass, really up close. She steps between the ass and the ass’s camera and demands to know what he’s doing.
“I’m trying to get a picture of her face!” he leers.
“That’s not where her face is,” Tink says. The guy keeps coming, though, and she’s apparently being pushed back into Sexy Cop, the guy is so forceful. Sexy Cop realizes what’s happening and moves Tink out of the way.
“If you don’t step back right now, I’m going to mace you,” she says, and pulls her canister out.
“I don’t care! Go on, do it!” the guy says, still invading her space. She kept warning him, he kept taunting her and coming at her, so she squirted him right in the face. He staggered back and screamed, “I can’t believe you just did that!”
“He did as for it, point blank,” I interjected.
“Seriously!” she said. Mall security came out from H&H and escorted the guy away, and actually came back to congratulate her for handling it so well. Bystanders did the same, and she said that business for the next hour or so was great because of that instance.
“I’m thinking I should mace a guy everyday!” she joked. Then we started seriously considering hiring a guy to come by to get lightly maced to help us out, which shows just how bored and demented we all are.

glamorous, right?

pretty boring, right?

Poor Who Dat (bottom left corner). He was having a really bad day today.

Well, since nothing much happened today and I feel bad when there’s not enough craziness to go around, I’ll instead share a music video I love. It’s “Bittersweet Bundle of Misery” by Graham Coxon, the fella I mentioned in yesterday’s post, and if this catchy song doesn’t get stuck in your head, then you’re either dead or have really awful taste in music. In either case, my condolences, and get better soon.