Sidewalk Superheroes

You know, I was all set to launch a long diatribe on how hard times are, how living hand to mouth sucks so hard and how honest people who want to work can’t, but then I saw this and decided to leave it at that:

seriously

That perfectly sums up yesterday.

It was a Friday afternoon, and it had been sunny all day, though some threatening clouds were blowing in from the east:

there's gonna be a storm

Last Friday had been pretty good, so we had high hopes for yesterday. I mean, the weather was warming up, we were just coming out of a good, drenching rain, and people are going to be on Spring Break pretty soon. It would be good, right?

Eh, no. In the two hours we stuck around, we were only asked for three pictures. I stress “asked” because there were snipers galore, of course. The boulevard was crowded and everyone was armed with cameras, but everyone just wanted to stand there and snap away and expected us to just sit there like pieces of paper. One of us would say, “Please ask for a picture,” or “We pose for tips,” only to get laughed at. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was the punchline to a joke I don’t know. I was starting to get so mad I actually wanted to hit someone. After one woman laughed at Catwoman for saying “We do pose for tips, you know,” the lady snapped her picture of us turning away, shooting dirty looks (yeah, great picture! Be sure to get it framed, you daft bint) and I yelled as she walked away, “I’m not a cardboard cut-out!” Then I muttered about being objectified and tried not to do something that would get me arrested, because the cops were out.

What’s worse, we had to stand around and watch all the beggars get business. Wonder Wig, now letting her hair down under her cat mask (even though no modern Catwoman wears her hair down, only the 60s Catwoman that no one but me seems to like) with her same hobbled together costume, was doing great.
“Maybe we shouldn’t try so hard,” Catwoman mused.
“Shit, maybe,” I said. “Apparently quality costumes and staying in character translates to ‘I don’t need money!'”
“Seriously.”
“Maybe I’ll just start coming out with store bought costumes and talk to myself. Look homeless and pathetic, then I’ll do good.”
No one was interested in us. Skintight PVC costumes, pretty faces, nice hair, and yet you go for the 40somethings in six year old outfits who look like they sleep in their costumes (like Homeless Jack). I really don’t get you people.

Super Guy was out when we appeared and said that Superman had been out earlier harassing him. Bat M was hovering about, out of costume, and I don’t know for sure, but I think he’s also trying to start shit. He’s old friends with Superman (they love smoking around all of Superman’s collectibles), but would egg Super Guy on to say something against Superman. The most he would say, though, is that he’s standing his ground and if Superman tries to get violent or gets someone else to do the dirty work, he’s going to fight back.
Some guy also came up to us when we were talking and dodging snipers and mentioned the rapper-character violence that had been on the news.
“Oh, that’s all Bat A’s fault,” Bat M said yet again.
“Swear to god, I’m going to hit you,” I said, and turned away. I already have enough enemies out there because I stumbled into something I knew nothing about (Davy, Sexy Cop, and all their friends), so I’d rather not make any more, but damn. I’m suddenly very tired of all this.

So yeah, crap all around. I’m still looking for a “real” job, but if you pay attention to the world around you, then you know it’s pretty much pissing up a rope at this point. But all I can do is try.

I also keep forgetting two pieces of news I got from a drunk Denim on our night out, so here they are:

1. The ringleader rapper and one other rapper went to jail for two days! They were already out again by the time we got the news, and now I’m afraid they’re madder than ever. Yesterday there was a whole slew of new rappers slinging their shit, and these guys are a lot more vocal. I predict a lot more problems, honestly. One guy wasn’t so bad, he just demanded I smile every time I walked past him, but another guy kept asking for Catwoman’s number and seemed really pushy, to the point that he’d start something at any moment. I’m kind of glad Bat A’s still away, because I know these new guys would give him problems and he’d ask the guys to leave the ladies alone. He doesn’t need more problems right now.
2. Elmo and Big Bird got served by Disney! Apparently they were served with papers a little while ago and can’t do their characters for at least a month, if Denim’s info is correct. I think Big Bird is out as Snoopy right now. But anyway, I guess Disney is doing something with Sesame Street, or is going to, and they didn’t want any SS characters out there during that time. I don’t know the details, I’m just sharing what I know.

And, for good measure, a video I made on the way home:

Funny, I just uploaded that video, and when I went to get the embed code, this video showed up on the sidebar:

It was made a year ago, way before us, but all the old familiar faces are there.

Last video, I swear: How Superheroes Spend Their Day Off

Well hey, it’s about time I showed up again. I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to pull of the Mystery Costume perfectly, so that means a lot of time researching on the Internet, looking up patterns and figuring out how to take from them and modify to make my own patterns (because I never got a degree in Fashion & Design, just took the courses), and shopping around for bulk PVC. I think I have a source.

Anyway, after the worst month ever, February, it feels good to be getting back into the swing of things. Last Thursday and Friday Catwoman and I went out to the boulevard to work, and a lot happened in the relatively short time we were there.
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Wow. I don’t know if it was just a lucky day, or the planets aligned, or if the rest of the world stalks us, but yesterday was crazy busy and totally made up for the past two weeks’ worth of rain, illness, and crap in general. It was our first time working in, what, a week? And while we didn’t work too long on the boulevard, we had a spokesmodel gig last night as well and there’s just so much to talk about! There’s also loads of pictures, too, and a quick video I took with my new Flip camera:

courtesy of Zannel

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It’s 12:03 AM, so I’m technically writing about yesterday. But I’m a night owl, and I don’t consider the next day to have started until the sun’s coming up, so I’m going to be referring to the events of February 2nd as “today.” Just so we’re clear, because I am weird. In case you hadn’t noticed that a woman blogging as Batgirl and Padmé Amidala working on Hollywood Boulevard was less than normal.

Anyway, Wonder Cat and I decided sort of at the last minute on Sunday evening to work the next morning. I was actually hoping that I could have worked sometime on Sunday, though I knew it was going to suck because everyone would be watching the StuporBowl (TM me), but I don’t go out there alone, so there’s that. We get to Hollywood & Highland at around 10:30, and as we’re crossing Hollywood Boulevard on Highland, we notice that half the street is closed. Something’s going on, we just don’t know what.
“Ooh, maybe it’ll help us,” Wonder Cat hopes.
“We need it!”
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It’s still slooooooow going on the boulevard, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. We went to the Joker’s birthday party last night, and while I only had one weak mojito, I hate rum and I’m still burping it up. It’s disgusting. I blame it for my mind being stupid today, even though I did have quite a lot of Jack Daniel’s last night. At least seven shots? Quite a lot. And rum cake. Anyway, you already know that after I drink I’m stupid for a day, and my memory’s not so great, so I’ll try to remember any good bits that may have happened.

I don’t think I worked Friday. Did I? My dad had surgery for his cancer on Wednesday so I spent a couple of days hanging out with him, which sort of threw me off time-wise. We spent a lot of time watching movies on cable and talked about going to China, I remember that. Oh wait, we did work Friday. Today’s Sunday. Sorry. To make up for the swiss cheese memory, here’s the best picture ever:

the DC universe

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Oh, today. *sigh* Today was Catwoman’s first day back, and my first in a while. I was supposed to go in this weekend and get the last few days of the big crowds and (ideally) big money, but it was overcast and cold and my Padmé costume is pretty much toast. She had a good run for a one-time wear cheapo store bought costume, and earned her money back and then some, but the time has come to make a real Padmé costume — it’ll be so cool, just wait — and put the old one out to pasture.

But I digress. We have plans. We started doing new things today. I learned that those Snap & Go curlers are indeed crap, and both of us may have texted each other about the new No Texting While Driving law while behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. I’m choosing to go with the fifth amendment to keep from incriminating myself.
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So. I’ve tried Batgirl on my own for three days, and all three days she struck out. Maybe this weekend isn’t as good as everyone hyped it to be (which seems to be true all around), maybe I need to be more pushy, but the long and short of it is that women on the boulevard are kinda screwed when it comes to thinking up a good solo costume. Everything that’s come to mind relies on another character, and it’s just very slanted against us. Argh. So, until Catwoman comes back and we can tag team it, I’m going back to shivering in the cold as Padmé and working with Vader and Storm Trooper.
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Once it was decided that we would try our hand at the character job, we now had to decide how we should dress. Since we met through a mutual love of Audrey Hepburn, and we had just dressed as her (in two different eras) for Halloween, my partner in crime and I decided to try that. We figured that if Elvis and Marilyn Monroe did alright, then surely Holly Golightly and Eliza Doolittle would do fairly well.

We showed up in the early afternoon, and as soon as we stepped off the elevator at H&H, a man asked for a picture with us. Taking it as a good sign, we posed with him and he tipped us. And we hadn’t even really started yet! So we sauntered down to the Boulevard and suddenly froze, overwhelmed. What did we do? How did this really work? There had been surprisingly little information about all this on the Internet, and we hadn’t thought to come up here in advance and talk to any characters. As we crept closer to the stars on the sidewalk, a guy dressed as Darth Vader in tights came up to us and pushed back his helmet.
“Are you two new here?” he asked. We nodded. “Okay, welcome to the Boulevard,” he said, and shook our hands, introducing himself. He very nicely went over the rules; what line in the sidewalk delineated public from private property, and how we were only supposed to pose and photograph on the public side, and how we must do something to show that we were “off” when crossing onto private property, either by removing a mask or some other piece of the costume so we wouldn’t be approached. Grateful, we thanked him, and he moved off to take a break.

Clinging to each other, we slowly crept up the Walk towards the Chinese Theatre. In front of the Kodak Theatre there was a Jack Sparrow loudly heckling the tourists, shouting, “I need your money!” As we walked past, he called out to us.
“Excuse me, ladies.” (more…)