Sidewalk Superheroes

So I worked alone for about 2 hours yesterday. Wow. Was I lonely. 🙁 Normally I wouldn’t go out alone, but the day before, Superman (or, his wife/secretary) called and asked if I would be interested in dressing up as Wonder Woman at a birthday party on Wednesday. $90. Sure. Sounds good to me. I’ve never done a birthday party before, so some anxiety set in. But I need cash, and how bad could it be?

So I decided to just show up a couple hours early in Hollywood, beat the traffic, maybe get some new footage (didn’t. Boring day, other than the demon creature being out). So 3PM I was out there. I hung out with the Dutch Marilyn until she went on a break. Then I wandered back and forth for a bit. Superman showed up around 4PM, so that helped a bit. I think I made $17 in 2 hours. At 5PM I was shivering, and hungry, so we went to Café Audrey. I couldn’t resist. First of all, I wanted something a bit healthier than french fries, and second, I was curious as to what they might say, if anything. There were two guys I didn’t recognize working the counter, and they seemed friendly . They gave me my 10% character discount, and a cup of water (because I guess Superman doesn’t have water at home??). There was a woman in there that we chatted with while we waited for the sandwich to be (grown, harvested, shipped, cooked…) made who gave me a little Audrey compliment when Superman mentioned that Batgirl and I dressed up like her a while back. She asked how we got into the boulevard work, but about a sentence into my explanation (which I always try to make as short as possible), her food was ready and she apparently didn’t care enough to hear the rest of it, and left. Eh.

So back to Superman’s place, where I met his lovely wife, Bonnie. If you’ve seen Confessions of a Superhero, you’d recognize her. It’s funny, I go in, and say hi like we’ve met before, and then realize that we haven’t! So I do a proper introduction. We all sit in the living room, Superman makes dirty comments about everything and talks about a wonderful song called Frosty the Pervert. We were not amused. We East Coasters (Bonnie and I) get on Superman’s case for thinking New York is not REALLY that cold (she’s from NY and I told her I was just there, and got some shots in my Catwoman costume and was FREEZING). Apparently he was there a couple years ago, in an unusually warm November.

Anyway, fast forward, I left at 6 to go get my car. I was the designated driver for Superman, Marilyn, and myself. We met at Supe’s place and made our way through traffic up to the valley. Snow White arrived a bit after us (we were all a bit late, due to traffic) with her balloons and magic show.

The party wasn’t that bad. Lots and lots of cake and Disney princesses on everything. We stayed a bit late to help clean up, and I came home and almost immediately passed out (after doing some online submissions – gotta get those done!). I have a feeling a couple other people might be calling in the future. Even though I really didn’t do much of anything! lol. Snow White was the busy one.

Well… I’m still kind of waking up right now… I think I covered most of the important points, but if I forgot something I’ll be back. 🙂

I have a confession to make: when I’m not busy kicking ass and taking names as Batgirl (or even as Padmé), I knit. Like a grandma, in bed, watching Belle and Sebastian. It sounds twee as hell and it probably is, but I don’t care. I genuinely love turning a couple of skeins of yarn into a really smart cardigan that everyone covets:

tres magnifique

I’ve always been a crafty gal, drawing, knitting, sewing, painting, writing music, whatever. I just love making things. I’m also hopelessly addicted to a few knitting magazines, like a true granny, and the e-zine Knitty is no exception. This morning in my inbox was a quick note from the editor, along with links to the Knitty Surprises, little bonus patterns they put out between seasons to keep you coming. I was just checking out the hand knit, somewhat anatomically correct heart when I noticed this ad:

Really?

Oh my god, there is actually a comic book — excuse me, graphic novel — about a knitting superhero.

Who’s been ripping off my life?

Glasses make people look smarter.

A glimpse of what is to come…

Just what the world needs....

Yesterday and today, Old Boyfriend has called at 9 AM and again at 11. Doesn’t he have a job? Something else to do besides harass young ladies who are old/young enough to be his granddaughter? Maybe I’m just sick of American men (okay, I am), but what is it with these losers that keep popping up? Why is it that our men refuse to grow up and get decent jobs and support themselves and be, well, men? I do believe in trying to fulfill your dreams and keeping the magic and youth alive, but there also comes a point where you have to start being an adult and balancing your life with taking care of yourself, paying your bills, and just growing and being an adult in general. The guys I’ve met just can’t seem to get this.

Anyway, I was still in bed at 9, so I didn’t get the phone, but I knew it was him. No one else calls me on Sunday mornings because I’m either asleep or doing other things that don’t warrant interruption. Just now I was on the computer doing stuff and the phone rang again, and by simply looking at the clock I knew who it was. I was beginning to think that if I still didn’t answer, he was going to start calling every hour. So I picked up the phone and stepped into the kitchen (because I was blasting Abba in the other room — oh shut up), pressed the talk button and just growled, “You need to stop calling me.” And hung up. No room for argument. It’s my phone, my life he’s interrupting and disrupting, so I have every right to just say those few words and hang up. Thankfully, he didn’t call back, but I would have just ignored it anyway.

This throws a wrench into my plans, though. It’s not raining, and the clouds actually appear to be breaking up for what might be a lovely but cold Sunday afternoon. A little break before the rain comes back tomorrow. I was going to go in and work a bit by myself, but because he just keeps calling, I can’t. I know he’s calling because I haven’t been out for over a week, because the incessant calls started after last weekend, my last time out there. I don’t know if he works Sunday, I actually have no idea what his schedule is, so I don’t know what days are safe. Yes, I could just sneak out and hang around some of the guys I know, but I also need to be making a certain amount of money to be worth my while, and there’s still the walk back to the car alone. He’s accosted me before during that short solo walk, so even that’s too much of a risk. So . . . *sigh* I guess I’ll just have to wait until next weekend, when Catwoman’s available for carpooling and the weather’s a bit better.

Dammit.

I don’t like to be serious very often, especially on here, because life is just too short and too strange to take everything seriously. But there are some things worth putting on a straight face for, and this is one of them.

Ladies, stalkers are not cute. They’re not charming, they’re not endearing, they’re never your soulmate or even a good date. They’re not what TV and most Lifetime movies make them out to be: adorable, slightly geeky guys who are just too shy to woo you straight up. In real life, they’re always socially retarded creeps who have never had a date, let alone any sort of sexual contact with a woman, and think that by following you everywhere, calling every day, eavesdropping on your conversations and just assuming they’re the perfect man for you, that they are in fact “nice guy”s and just misunderstood. They usually have hygiene problems, social problems, and mental problems, and once you’ve had to stop being nice and tell them no firmly, they turn against you in nearly violent ways. It’s a nightmare. If you can, just cut them off the second they first approach you, and save yourself a lot of headaches. America’s stalker laws, especially involving cyberstalking, are woefully inadequate and at least 15 years behind the times, and won’t protect you. (Trust me on this: I’ve had to contact law enforcement about this, and it’s a tangle of state jurisdictions and IP servers’ whimsy.)

I’m giving you this warning and telling you to just not deal with these freakazoids in the first place because I’ve been there too often and I’m tired of it. I try to be nice to everyone, even the weird ones, and it always bites me in the ass. You can always tell the ones who get too attached, so just calmly disentangle yourself from any and all contact with them and consider yourself lucky.

Old Boyfriend has called every day now, and while I never answer because I don’t want to do that crap over the phone, I’ve had it. I have never given him any encouragement, never given him any reason to even start to think that yeah, I’d like a relationship with a guy at least ten years older than my father, and even now, most guys start thinking, “Okay, I’ve called four days in a row and she’s never answered or called me back. That must mean something.” As in, she’s not interested. But now I’m going to have to watch my back and not be alone the next time I do work, because the creeps always have a way of hiding until you’re alone or cornered and then getting belligerent when you tell them that they’re freaking you out and being too pushy.

And then there’s the added awkwardness of still being around each other because he works there and I work around there. Yes, I can just stay away from the Chinese Theatre for a bit, but there’s no invisible tether tying him to that spot. He can follow me around and yell insults all day if he wants, and as long as he stays on the public half of the sidewalk, I can’t really do much. If he does it on the clock and a supervisor catches him, sure, he could get reprimanded, but having some chick in a Batgirl costume complaining about an unbalanced guy isn’t exactly the best built-in defense. All of the drivers like us and most have talked to me and like me, but that may not have enough sway. And do I really have to get a guy fired to have some safety and peace? He’s done this to other female characters, but that doesn’t make me feel any better

See what a headache this becomes if you try to be nice and not hurt feelings? All it takes is one clueless fucktard to ruin it for everyone.

1/24/09 – And ladies, any guy you don’t know who calls you before 9 AM on a Saturday morning is not your friend and is also an inconsiderate jackass. Unless someone you know is on fire and he took it upon himself to call you, cut that mofo off at the knees. I just found out that my service provider, Verizon, doesn’t let you block numbers, which is beyond stupid. I’d love to just turn my phone off for a bit and shoot him straight to voicemail, but my sister is having a baby any time now and I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss that call because of this jackass. If it keeps raining and I can’t go in at all this weekend, then the next time he calls, I’m just going to yell “Quit calling me!” and hang up. I still don’t want an ugly confrontation over the phone, but seriously, this is unacceptable. If I have to take the sleazy way and tell him off over the phone (which, seriously, is a cop out, almost on par with dumping someone in an email, or through MySpace. Don’t do it if you want to have any class whatsoever), I will, but creeps like that tend to have the message stick a little better when they see your angry face and some of your good friends standing discreetly in the background, cracking their knuckles. You get me?

I miss the boulevard. The weather hasn’t been that great this week… chilly and/or rainy, so we won’t be back on the street until next week, I’m afraid. Which stinks because I kinda went on a shopping spree yesterday. :-/ I’m a girl, what can I say. There’s a reason I don’t go out to the mall. One thing leads to another. You don’t want to hear about my shopping trip. Needless to say, I spent more than I should have and rationalized it in the way that girls can… “I got it all for basically the price of this ONE dress at it’s retail price, I’m definitely going to wear it, I need to look my best on auditions and when I go out… etc…. etc….” What’s wrong with me?! Anyway, here are a few pictures to hold you over until we have more news. 😀

Batgirl, Superman, and Michael Jackson....

Hey, what's going on back there?

I’m sorry, I really couldn’t decide which photo I liked better! hehehehe… Batgirl, the look on your face…..

Aww... they were such a great couple...

Good times, right, Batgirl? Good times… 😛 I don’t remember if I posted this one here or not, but here it is (again). Hehe. This was our first meeting with Gollum. Oddly enough we had just been talking about how cool it would be if someone did Gollum on the boulevard the day before. Aren’t we a handsome couple?

My precious!

For the past hour or so I’ve been scouring Flickr for pictures for my next costume. It’s not going to be Zatanna Zatara, like I’ve mused upon, or even slave Leia, or even Hawkgirl like Baby Jack (the Jack Sparrow that looks about 12 years old) suggested. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned what it was on here, though I have told a few people on the boulevard about it. I sort of pushed it aside, but after showing my sister a trailer for a certain upcoming big film, it’s on the front burner again. The release date is a lot closer than I expected, and I need to get cracking! It’s also got a bit too much PVC to really be a summer costume, even though it is pretty skimpy.

Anyway, while I don’t have a movie to watch, bootleg or otherwise yet (still too early), no screengrabs either, I do have some high quality promotional stills and shots to sketch off of, and I think I can do this. I think I have all the details drawn out, with little scribbles next to them that I’ll hopefully be able to decipher in a month. What’s more, I could sew it all up myself if I had to. And I probably will . . . as long as I can find yellow PVC lying around. Think it’ll work?

Catwoman and I were debating going to work today, but it’s been raining off and on, and just an ugly, stay at home sort of day in general. Which is good, I needed some time to finish up things. I cleaned both my yellow and white boots, re-blacked the bat logo, and further took in my Batgirl costume so she looks even better. And curvier. 🙂 Plus, I had the time to put on some Nouvelle Vague and draw for a few hours, which hasn’t happened in years. I’d say it’s a pretty good day, even if I didn’t make any money off of it.

Ugh, Old Boyfriend just called again. And he didn’t leave a message, thankfully. Maybe he’s getting a clue. I just hate having That Conversation over the phone, you know?

P.S. If you’d like to know what this new Mystery Costume is going to be before the unveiling, speak up! I can’t read your minds . . . yet.

I went to donate blood yesterday, and had an interesting conversation. It wasn’t interesting because of what was said; rather, it’s what wasn’t said that made it so interesting to me. I didn’t go to a hospital or a Red Cross, it was just a weekly blood drive at the creepy old Masonic lodge nearby. They never seem to have the same volunteer staff twice. Yesterday there was a thirtysomething lady taking my vitals before the bloodletting, and she decided to be chatty.
“So, you came in on your day off?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” I said. I usually don’t tell people what I do for a living unless they ask point blank — or I’m trying to be amusing and quirky. Whichever comes first.
“So what exactly do you do?” she asked. Maybe I’m just strange — okay, I am — but I actually don’t really like that question. It’s a matter of opinion as to whether that’s rude or invasive or not, but in such a horrid economy with so many jobless, it’s just kind of mean.
“I work in Hollywood,” I said evasively.
“Oh cool! What exactly do you do?”
“Entertainment.” She stared expectantly. Really? Are you going to ask for an address next, some references? I wish I was snipy enough to just say, “None of your damn business!”
“I work with kids in costume, take photos with them, entertain them,” I added reluctantly.
“Where exactly is this?”
“Um, around Hollywood Boulevard. Sometimes around the Chinese Theatre.”
“Oh, I see,” she said, suddenly cold. Oh, so you’ve heard of us. While she was cordial for the rest of my visit, I could almost literally see the veil come down between us, the I Have A Real Job And Real Responsibilities, You’re Just An Immature Dork attitude. I felt disappointed at first, but after a moment, I realized it was disappointment in her. How sad it must be to look down on so many people like that, to have to knock others down and see them as below you just to feel good about yourself. What a pathetic way to live.

Then Old Boyfriend called today. *shudder* Thankfully, I didn’t answer. I’ve had a lot of unavailables and strange numbers calling me lately, so if they’re not in my phone already, they talk to the voice mail. He did, repeating his message twice like I was old and hard of hearing. Eh. I’m sure he’ll harass me Friday or Saturday, whenever he works, and I can cut him off then, in person. Then block his number from his phone, now that it’s in my log. And a new resolution takes effect: never give out my number.

Oh hey, that video I did so many years ago (last week?) is finally up! The latest episode of Monkey News Source went up last night at 10 PM, I think, but I was too tired to babysit the website and wait for it. And I’m glad I didn’t, because I can’t even embed it here.

Okay, so, the video. If you go here you can watch the full episode, or you can let the whole thing load, then skip to the 13 minute mark. That’s where the good segment starts. It’s everyone’s goodbyes to now ex-President Bush (oh, that feels so nice!), and ooh! The monkey lied! He said it was live street reporting. Well, I guess it was live at the time. Anyway, I’m the second person interviewed, I come on at about 14:58 with my raspy, sexy sick voice. I’ve had a cough for a week now. Eh.

the one-fingered salute

As you can see from my screengrab, it’s full of fond farewells.

Well, the video is still loading for me, ’cause my Internet decided to be really slow today, but they also filmed me talking about Obama. I’m going to do some stuff and come back to see if they show that too. I have to go donate blood in a few hours, because I’m an all around superhero, maybe it’ll be done by then.

a Red Cross HerO

Look! A photo! There are more on the way, but instead of wait for them all, I thought I’d post one today. This was taken in NYC in what, 20 degree weather? I was one cold kitty. But a cold, determined kitty! With a cold, determined, awesome photographer. 😀

In addition to that, I have a few more photos, AND a new video. This video is helping us get caught up, and it covers about a week (well, a couple days, really, we don’t work every day) on the Boulevard. In the next video you’ll get to see our new and improved costumes (Batgirl and Wonder Woman), and I promise that soon we will have more video of us in costume. We’ve gotten several requests for that. But you have to understand that our main focus is just catching the craziness, and most of it doesn’t involve us, so there hasn’t been much reason for us to film each other. But we’ll try…

Gollum - and the creepiest Mickey Mouse I've ever seen.

Where else would you see this scene?

Hope you enjoy. 🙂