Sidewalk Superheroes

You know, I was all set to launch a long diatribe on how hard times are, how living hand to mouth sucks so hard and how honest people who want to work can’t, but then I saw this and decided to leave it at that:

seriously

That perfectly sums up yesterday.

It was a Friday afternoon, and it had been sunny all day, though some threatening clouds were blowing in from the east:

there's gonna be a storm

Last Friday had been pretty good, so we had high hopes for yesterday. I mean, the weather was warming up, we were just coming out of a good, drenching rain, and people are going to be on Spring Break pretty soon. It would be good, right?

Eh, no. In the two hours we stuck around, we were only asked for three pictures. I stress “asked” because there were snipers galore, of course. The boulevard was crowded and everyone was armed with cameras, but everyone just wanted to stand there and snap away and expected us to just sit there like pieces of paper. One of us would say, “Please ask for a picture,” or “We pose for tips,” only to get laughed at. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was the punchline to a joke I don’t know. I was starting to get so mad I actually wanted to hit someone. After one woman laughed at Catwoman for saying “We do pose for tips, you know,” the lady snapped her picture of us turning away, shooting dirty looks (yeah, great picture! Be sure to get it framed, you daft bint) and I yelled as she walked away, “I’m not a cardboard cut-out!” Then I muttered about being objectified and tried not to do something that would get me arrested, because the cops were out.

What’s worse, we had to stand around and watch all the beggars get business. Wonder Wig, now letting her hair down under her cat mask (even though no modern Catwoman wears her hair down, only the 60s Catwoman that no one but me seems to like) with her same hobbled together costume, was doing great.
“Maybe we shouldn’t try so hard,” Catwoman mused.
“Shit, maybe,” I said. “Apparently quality costumes and staying in character translates to ‘I don’t need money!'”
“Seriously.”
“Maybe I’ll just start coming out with store bought costumes and talk to myself. Look homeless and pathetic, then I’ll do good.”
No one was interested in us. Skintight PVC costumes, pretty faces, nice hair, and yet you go for the 40somethings in six year old outfits who look like they sleep in their costumes (like Homeless Jack). I really don’t get you people.

Super Guy was out when we appeared and said that Superman had been out earlier harassing him. Bat M was hovering about, out of costume, and I don’t know for sure, but I think he’s also trying to start shit. He’s old friends with Superman (they love smoking around all of Superman’s collectibles), but would egg Super Guy on to say something against Superman. The most he would say, though, is that he’s standing his ground and if Superman tries to get violent or gets someone else to do the dirty work, he’s going to fight back.
Some guy also came up to us when we were talking and dodging snipers and mentioned the rapper-character violence that had been on the news.
“Oh, that’s all Bat A’s fault,” Bat M said yet again.
“Swear to god, I’m going to hit you,” I said, and turned away. I already have enough enemies out there because I stumbled into something I knew nothing about (Davy, Sexy Cop, and all their friends), so I’d rather not make any more, but damn. I’m suddenly very tired of all this.

So yeah, crap all around. I’m still looking for a “real” job, but if you pay attention to the world around you, then you know it’s pretty much pissing up a rope at this point. But all I can do is try.

I also keep forgetting two pieces of news I got from a drunk Denim on our night out, so here they are:

1. The ringleader rapper and one other rapper went to jail for two days! They were already out again by the time we got the news, and now I’m afraid they’re madder than ever. Yesterday there was a whole slew of new rappers slinging their shit, and these guys are a lot more vocal. I predict a lot more problems, honestly. One guy wasn’t so bad, he just demanded I smile every time I walked past him, but another guy kept asking for Catwoman’s number and seemed really pushy, to the point that he’d start something at any moment. I’m kind of glad Bat A’s still away, because I know these new guys would give him problems and he’d ask the guys to leave the ladies alone. He doesn’t need more problems right now.
2. Elmo and Big Bird got served by Disney! Apparently they were served with papers a little while ago and can’t do their characters for at least a month, if Denim’s info is correct. I think Big Bird is out as Snoopy right now. But anyway, I guess Disney is doing something with Sesame Street, or is going to, and they didn’t want any SS characters out there during that time. I don’t know the details, I’m just sharing what I know.

And, for good measure, a video I made on the way home:

Funny, I just uploaded that video, and when I went to get the embed code, this video showed up on the sidebar:

It was made a year ago, way before us, but all the old familiar faces are there.

Last video, I swear: How Superheroes Spend Their Day Off

Can you tell how slow it was yesterday? It was so slow, I actually got the video together on the same day. Yesterday was weird. Nobody wanted to pay for a picture. We even had a whole tour group pass by and completely ignore us saying “We do pose for tips!” and just hold their cameras up and take photos of us as they walked by. It’s like we were statues, or maybe we were invisible and they just wanted a picture of the Hooters restaurant across the street. No acknowledgment at all that we were living, breathing, human beings. What’s with people?

It’s strange. I know we haven’t been out in a while, but we were out twice this week, and once last week, and there have been several characters we just have not seen since coming back. Bat M showed up out of costume today (with a noticeable Batman-mask-tan-line) to chat us up. I saw the older Marilyn leaving as I arrived in my car, counting her cash. We haven’t seen Sexy Cop or Tinkerbell in a long while. It’s mostly the guys out there, except for the girl in a mask that we’ve never talked to. The other day we DID meet a new Harley Quin. She seemed nice, but she was hanging out with King Kong and he’s not really speaking to us anymore for some odd reason.

You’re probably going to think we’re all super-wimps, but it gets cold out there! And fast! Most of the characters were following the sun as it sped across the sidewalk until we were all in one area in front of the Chinese theatre. None of our costumes seem to be very insulating. I even had 3 layers under mine (thin! You couldn’t really tell), plus ski socks, and sometimes glove liners too. I hope it warms up soon.

Well hey, it’s about time I showed up again. I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to pull of the Mystery Costume perfectly, so that means a lot of time researching on the Internet, looking up patterns and figuring out how to take from them and modify to make my own patterns (because I never got a degree in Fashion & Design, just took the courses), and shopping around for bulk PVC. I think I have a source.

Anyway, after the worst month ever, February, it feels good to be getting back into the swing of things. Last Thursday and Friday Catwoman and I went out to the boulevard to work, and a lot happened in the relatively short time we were there.
(more…)

I don’t think Batgirl has seen this yet… 😉

Catwoman and Batgirl accepting their Oscar

I use the word ‘random’ a lot, huh? This is boulevard related. I’m just up late, and I saw that Superman updated his Myspace photo album, and then I remembered – he got new teeth! Superman has been excited lately, because he found some fake “Hollywood” teeth online, and ordered them. Superman doesn’t have the greatest teeth in the world. There’s a large gap right in the front. So because he wants to be more authentic, and he doesn’t want to spend the money on veneers, he got some fake teeth. They’re like the hill-billy teeth you see in the costume stores – except they’re straight, and white. They don’t look too bad, and you’d probably just think he was wearing Invisalign or something (like me!) unless you knew about it. But if you look close, he’s got two rows of upper teeth. hehe. Like a shark or something. But that is my random thought in the middle of the night. Superman’s fake teeth. Now, I wonder what I’ll dream about tonight…

Wow. I don’t know if it was just a lucky day, or the planets aligned, or if the rest of the world stalks us, but yesterday was crazy busy and totally made up for the past two weeks’ worth of rain, illness, and crap in general. It was our first time working in, what, a week? And while we didn’t work too long on the boulevard, we had a spokesmodel gig last night as well and there’s just so much to talk about! There’s also loads of pictures, too, and a quick video I took with my new Flip camera:

courtesy of Zannel

(more…)

So this video pretty much catches us up… so it’s time for us to get out there again and film something!! Not quite sure when that will happen though, because of the weather and our schedules. I’m itching to really get some footage of both of us, and not just the other characters… but be patient with us. Neither one of us are documentary film-makers, so I’m sure we’ll get better at this. 😀 I do hope you enjoy this latest installment:

In other news, since it was raining today, I stuck around my neighbourhood, and went to yoga. Soon after I got back, I hear a screeching of tires outside. I have my curtains closed so I don’t see anything. But then I hear more cars. And then yelling. Somehow I didn’t put it all together. I thought “oh! Someone’s being arrested on PCH!” So I ran outside with my camera. As soon as I turn the corner, I see police cars blocking in a pick-up truck (with an ad for WestsideRentals on the side. ha) on my dead end street. The cop sees me and waves me away. They have guns pulled on the guy! They’re yelling at him to get out of his truck. I get a little video from my window by sticking my arm out, and then through my fence. But then I started worrying that I’d get shot. The dude was not listening to them. They did finally get him out of his truck, and sat him on the ground. Then more patrol cars came. Then a fire engine and an ambulance blocked my driveway. lol. But yeah. Excitement. And I was beginning to think that any time anything happened in my neighbourhood, I would be conveniently out of town, like the other times. So… yeah. I’m glad I didn’t miss that. Cause life has been a tad on the boring side lately…

Oh, wait, we’re not actually totally caught up with video. I’m going to make a special episode dedicated to Homeless Boyfriend next.

It’s still slooooooow going on the boulevard, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. We went to the Joker’s birthday party last night, and while I only had one weak mojito, I hate rum and I’m still burping it up. It’s disgusting. I blame it for my mind being stupid today, even though I did have quite a lot of Jack Daniel’s last night. At least seven shots? Quite a lot. And rum cake. Anyway, you already know that after I drink I’m stupid for a day, and my memory’s not so great, so I’ll try to remember any good bits that may have happened.

I don’t think I worked Friday. Did I? My dad had surgery for his cancer on Wednesday so I spent a couple of days hanging out with him, which sort of threw me off time-wise. We spent a lot of time watching movies on cable and talked about going to China, I remember that. Oh wait, we did work Friday. Today’s Sunday. Sorry. To make up for the swiss cheese memory, here’s the best picture ever:

the DC universe

(more…)

So I worked alone for about 2 hours yesterday. Wow. Was I lonely. 🙁 Normally I wouldn’t go out alone, but the day before, Superman (or, his wife/secretary) called and asked if I would be interested in dressing up as Wonder Woman at a birthday party on Wednesday. $90. Sure. Sounds good to me. I’ve never done a birthday party before, so some anxiety set in. But I need cash, and how bad could it be?

So I decided to just show up a couple hours early in Hollywood, beat the traffic, maybe get some new footage (didn’t. Boring day, other than the demon creature being out). So 3PM I was out there. I hung out with the Dutch Marilyn until she went on a break. Then I wandered back and forth for a bit. Superman showed up around 4PM, so that helped a bit. I think I made $17 in 2 hours. At 5PM I was shivering, and hungry, so we went to Café Audrey. I couldn’t resist. First of all, I wanted something a bit healthier than french fries, and second, I was curious as to what they might say, if anything. There were two guys I didn’t recognize working the counter, and they seemed friendly . They gave me my 10% character discount, and a cup of water (because I guess Superman doesn’t have water at home??). There was a woman in there that we chatted with while we waited for the sandwich to be (grown, harvested, shipped, cooked…) made who gave me a little Audrey compliment when Superman mentioned that Batgirl and I dressed up like her a while back. She asked how we got into the boulevard work, but about a sentence into my explanation (which I always try to make as short as possible), her food was ready and she apparently didn’t care enough to hear the rest of it, and left. Eh.

So back to Superman’s place, where I met his lovely wife, Bonnie. If you’ve seen Confessions of a Superhero, you’d recognize her. It’s funny, I go in, and say hi like we’ve met before, and then realize that we haven’t! So I do a proper introduction. We all sit in the living room, Superman makes dirty comments about everything and talks about a wonderful song called Frosty the Pervert. We were not amused. We East Coasters (Bonnie and I) get on Superman’s case for thinking New York is not REALLY that cold (she’s from NY and I told her I was just there, and got some shots in my Catwoman costume and was FREEZING). Apparently he was there a couple years ago, in an unusually warm November.

Anyway, fast forward, I left at 6 to go get my car. I was the designated driver for Superman, Marilyn, and myself. We met at Supe’s place and made our way through traffic up to the valley. Snow White arrived a bit after us (we were all a bit late, due to traffic) with her balloons and magic show.

The party wasn’t that bad. Lots and lots of cake and Disney princesses on everything. We stayed a bit late to help clean up, and I came home and almost immediately passed out (after doing some online submissions – gotta get those done!). I have a feeling a couple other people might be calling in the future. Even though I really didn’t do much of anything! lol. Snow White was the busy one.

Well… I’m still kind of waking up right now… I think I covered most of the important points, but if I forgot something I’ll be back. 🙂

Glasses make people look smarter.

A glimpse of what is to come…

Just what the world needs....