Sidewalk Superheroes

You know, I was all set to launch a long diatribe on how hard times are, how living hand to mouth sucks so hard and how honest people who want to work can’t, but then I saw this and decided to leave it at that:

seriously

That perfectly sums up yesterday.

It was a Friday afternoon, and it had been sunny all day, though some threatening clouds were blowing in from the east:

there's gonna be a storm

Last Friday had been pretty good, so we had high hopes for yesterday. I mean, the weather was warming up, we were just coming out of a good, drenching rain, and people are going to be on Spring Break pretty soon. It would be good, right?

Eh, no. In the two hours we stuck around, we were only asked for three pictures. I stress “asked” because there were snipers galore, of course. The boulevard was crowded and everyone was armed with cameras, but everyone just wanted to stand there and snap away and expected us to just sit there like pieces of paper. One of us would say, “Please ask for a picture,” or “We pose for tips,” only to get laughed at. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was the punchline to a joke I don’t know. I was starting to get so mad I actually wanted to hit someone. After one woman laughed at Catwoman for saying “We do pose for tips, you know,” the lady snapped her picture of us turning away, shooting dirty looks (yeah, great picture! Be sure to get it framed, you daft bint) and I yelled as she walked away, “I’m not a cardboard cut-out!” Then I muttered about being objectified and tried not to do something that would get me arrested, because the cops were out.

What’s worse, we had to stand around and watch all the beggars get business. Wonder Wig, now letting her hair down under her cat mask (even though no modern Catwoman wears her hair down, only the 60s Catwoman that no one but me seems to like) with her same hobbled together costume, was doing great.
“Maybe we shouldn’t try so hard,” Catwoman mused.
“Shit, maybe,” I said. “Apparently quality costumes and staying in character translates to ‘I don’t need money!'”
“Seriously.”
“Maybe I’ll just start coming out with store bought costumes and talk to myself. Look homeless and pathetic, then I’ll do good.”
No one was interested in us. Skintight PVC costumes, pretty faces, nice hair, and yet you go for the 40somethings in six year old outfits who look like they sleep in their costumes (like Homeless Jack). I really don’t get you people.

Super Guy was out when we appeared and said that Superman had been out earlier harassing him. Bat M was hovering about, out of costume, and I don’t know for sure, but I think he’s also trying to start shit. He’s old friends with Superman (they love smoking around all of Superman’s collectibles), but would egg Super Guy on to say something against Superman. The most he would say, though, is that he’s standing his ground and if Superman tries to get violent or gets someone else to do the dirty work, he’s going to fight back.
Some guy also came up to us when we were talking and dodging snipers and mentioned the rapper-character violence that had been on the news.
“Oh, that’s all Bat A’s fault,” Bat M said yet again.
“Swear to god, I’m going to hit you,” I said, and turned away. I already have enough enemies out there because I stumbled into something I knew nothing about (Davy, Sexy Cop, and all their friends), so I’d rather not make any more, but damn. I’m suddenly very tired of all this.

So yeah, crap all around. I’m still looking for a “real” job, but if you pay attention to the world around you, then you know it’s pretty much pissing up a rope at this point. But all I can do is try.

I also keep forgetting two pieces of news I got from a drunk Denim on our night out, so here they are:

1. The ringleader rapper and one other rapper went to jail for two days! They were already out again by the time we got the news, and now I’m afraid they’re madder than ever. Yesterday there was a whole slew of new rappers slinging their shit, and these guys are a lot more vocal. I predict a lot more problems, honestly. One guy wasn’t so bad, he just demanded I smile every time I walked past him, but another guy kept asking for Catwoman’s number and seemed really pushy, to the point that he’d start something at any moment. I’m kind of glad Bat A’s still away, because I know these new guys would give him problems and he’d ask the guys to leave the ladies alone. He doesn’t need more problems right now.
2. Elmo and Big Bird got served by Disney! Apparently they were served with papers a little while ago and can’t do their characters for at least a month, if Denim’s info is correct. I think Big Bird is out as Snoopy right now. But anyway, I guess Disney is doing something with Sesame Street, or is going to, and they didn’t want any SS characters out there during that time. I don’t know the details, I’m just sharing what I know.

And, for good measure, a video I made on the way home:

Funny, I just uploaded that video, and when I went to get the embed code, this video showed up on the sidebar:

It was made a year ago, way before us, but all the old familiar faces are there.

Last video, I swear: How Superheroes Spend Their Day Off

Can you tell how slow it was yesterday? It was so slow, I actually got the video together on the same day. Yesterday was weird. Nobody wanted to pay for a picture. We even had a whole tour group pass by and completely ignore us saying “We do pose for tips!” and just hold their cameras up and take photos of us as they walked by. It’s like we were statues, or maybe we were invisible and they just wanted a picture of the Hooters restaurant across the street. No acknowledgment at all that we were living, breathing, human beings. What’s with people?

It’s strange. I know we haven’t been out in a while, but we were out twice this week, and once last week, and there have been several characters we just have not seen since coming back. Bat M showed up out of costume today (with a noticeable Batman-mask-tan-line) to chat us up. I saw the older Marilyn leaving as I arrived in my car, counting her cash. We haven’t seen Sexy Cop or Tinkerbell in a long while. It’s mostly the guys out there, except for the girl in a mask that we’ve never talked to. The other day we DID meet a new Harley Quin. She seemed nice, but she was hanging out with King Kong and he’s not really speaking to us anymore for some odd reason.

You’re probably going to think we’re all super-wimps, but it gets cold out there! And fast! Most of the characters were following the sun as it sped across the sidewalk until we were all in one area in front of the Chinese theatre. None of our costumes seem to be very insulating. I even had 3 layers under mine (thin! You couldn’t really tell), plus ski socks, and sometimes glove liners too. I hope it warms up soon.

I’m too lazy to think of a clever title this morning. 😛 But here ya go, new video!

Well hey, it’s about time I showed up again. I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to pull of the Mystery Costume perfectly, so that means a lot of time researching on the Internet, looking up patterns and figuring out how to take from them and modify to make my own patterns (because I never got a degree in Fashion & Design, just took the courses), and shopping around for bulk PVC. I think I have a source.

Anyway, after the worst month ever, February, it feels good to be getting back into the swing of things. Last Thursday and Friday Catwoman and I went out to the boulevard to work, and a lot happened in the relatively short time we were there.
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