Sidewalk Superheroes

Hello! Miss us much? Well, I hope you’re all fans of Audrey Hepburn, because that’s our new gig. After making a depressing amount of money on the boulevard as superheroes, we thought “It couldn’t be any worse” as Holly Golightly, and much more comfortable… so we donned our dark sunglasses and hit the street. Alas, we made about $2 in tips, once more, BUT we had our back-up plan. We sat down and negotiated with Café Audrey and got a little part-time gig going around to local hotels with pocket-sized menus, in costume, and earning a little extra money. It’s not enough to retire on, but at least we’ll be making friends with the concierges, and be able to wear sunglasses in the summertime. Better than nothing.

How do I look?

When I get the mean reds...

And a little bit of video…

First off, let me just say that my partner in crime, Catwoman By Day, is finally here! Now I can give her a name and quit calling her my partner, ’cause that sounds a little more intimate than we really are. Anyway, fast forward to the weekend after my last story. We hadn’t seen each other during the week because we had other things to do, but Catwoman and I talk all the time through email. It’s like a non-committal chat for us. Anyway, we’d sent pictures back and forth of the costumes as they came in — in her case, piece by piece — and we were really feeling it. This weekend would be good.

I showed up at her place early with a t-shirt and jeans pulled over the costume, because it’s pretty revealing and it was a cold morning. Besides, no free shows to the truckers on the freeway. From there we carpool over to Hollywood & Highland (H&H), because we’re poor and cheap and it’s better to split parking. The regulars recognize us right away, which is nice, and promise we’ll do loads better with these new costumes. And we do! I’m still lagging a bit, because a lot of people don’t recognize me as Star Wars or think I’m Leia. Plus, Catwoman can work with Batman, which the tourists love. And the Japanese businessmen are obviously turned on by the bondage aspect of her costume and the whip, so they want her by herself, even though I’m in a torn shirt and wielding a gun. Perverts. (more…)

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving, our second day on Hollywood Boulevard and the day of the Hollywood Christmas Parade, which would step off at the corner of Hollywood and Highland. We showed up a bit earlier, since the characters we had met the day before said that mornings are usually the best time for making money, and wandered around a bit. Still dressed as Holly and Eliza, we earned a lot of admiring looks and loads of people sniping pictures when we weren’t looking, but still no one seemed to want to really photograph with us. We were cool, but we weren’t that cool. Still, business was improving from the day before, and there was still a lot to look at and absorb.

We spent a lot of the day just walking up and down the block, from Highland to Orange and back again, trying to grab the attention (and hopefully business) of all of the tourists and extra locals hovering about. There was supposed to be a big block of entertainment right in front of the Chinese Theatre from noon until the parade started, but it ended up being a load of crap Disney kids bands gyrating obscenely and trying to make it big. It was appalling, honestly, and the music was terrible. I saw a few teenage girls walking around with posterboard and glitter signs for one of the bands and considered asking them if they’d been paid to wave them. I just couldn’t believe anyone would take that god-awful drivel passing as music seriously. It also pulled out a lot of kids, and kids don’t know who Audrey Hepburn is. We did get a few moms who loved our costumes and forced their kids to take pictures with us, which wasn’t too bad.

But with crowds come the crazies. While the day before had been mild, even for a weekend, the draw of thousands of extra people with money and the news vans filming all over the place, the weirdos began to show. There was a relatively harmless older fellow who played guitar while whistling on the sidewalk, and while he was nice, he only seemed to know two songs. No one seemed to care for what he was playing, though, and avoided him. He started following us around, which further pushed business away from us. To make matters worse, Dollhouse Guy appeared. Apparently he is pretty well-known on the Boulevard, and he really is called Dollhouse Guy. I noticed the miles too big green jacket with that title painted on the back (in what looked like white poster paint) and wondered why. He and the guitarist got along and Dollhouse would make up bawdy lyrics to the two songs the guitarist knew. After we’d finally shaken them both, we turned around to find Dollhouse Guy, with a large dollhouse on his head, gyrating on the ground next to the stage set up for all those crap Disney kids. Oh, so that’s how he got his name. (more…)

Once it was decided that we would try our hand at the character job, we now had to decide how we should dress. Since we met through a mutual love of Audrey Hepburn, and we had just dressed as her (in two different eras) for Halloween, my partner in crime and I decided to try that. We figured that if Elvis and Marilyn Monroe did alright, then surely Holly Golightly and Eliza Doolittle would do fairly well.

We showed up in the early afternoon, and as soon as we stepped off the elevator at H&H, a man asked for a picture with us. Taking it as a good sign, we posed with him and he tipped us. And we hadn’t even really started yet! So we sauntered down to the Boulevard and suddenly froze, overwhelmed. What did we do? How did this really work? There had been surprisingly little information about all this on the Internet, and we hadn’t thought to come up here in advance and talk to any characters. As we crept closer to the stars on the sidewalk, a guy dressed as Darth Vader in tights came up to us and pushed back his helmet.
“Are you two new here?” he asked. We nodded. “Okay, welcome to the Boulevard,” he said, and shook our hands, introducing himself. He very nicely went over the rules; what line in the sidewalk delineated public from private property, and how we were only supposed to pose and photograph on the public side, and how we must do something to show that we were “off” when crossing onto private property, either by removing a mask or some other piece of the costume so we wouldn’t be approached. Grateful, we thanked him, and he moved off to take a break.

Clinging to each other, we slowly crept up the Walk towards the Chinese Theatre. In front of the Kodak Theatre there was a Jack Sparrow loudly heckling the tourists, shouting, “I need your money!” As we walked past, he called out to us.
“Excuse me, ladies.” (more…)