Sidewalk Superheroes

You know, I was all set to launch a long diatribe on how hard times are, how living hand to mouth sucks so hard and how honest people who want to work can’t, but then I saw this and decided to leave it at that:

seriously

That perfectly sums up yesterday.

It was a Friday afternoon, and it had been sunny all day, though some threatening clouds were blowing in from the east:

there's gonna be a storm

Last Friday had been pretty good, so we had high hopes for yesterday. I mean, the weather was warming up, we were just coming out of a good, drenching rain, and people are going to be on Spring Break pretty soon. It would be good, right?

Eh, no. In the two hours we stuck around, we were only asked for three pictures. I stress “asked” because there were snipers galore, of course. The boulevard was crowded and everyone was armed with cameras, but everyone just wanted to stand there and snap away and expected us to just sit there like pieces of paper. One of us would say, “Please ask for a picture,” or “We pose for tips,” only to get laughed at. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was the punchline to a joke I don’t know. I was starting to get so mad I actually wanted to hit someone. After one woman laughed at Catwoman for saying “We do pose for tips, you know,” the lady snapped her picture of us turning away, shooting dirty looks (yeah, great picture! Be sure to get it framed, you daft bint) and I yelled as she walked away, “I’m not a cardboard cut-out!” Then I muttered about being objectified and tried not to do something that would get me arrested, because the cops were out.

What’s worse, we had to stand around and watch all the beggars get business. Wonder Wig, now letting her hair down under her cat mask (even though no modern Catwoman wears her hair down, only the 60s Catwoman that no one but me seems to like) with her same hobbled together costume, was doing great.
“Maybe we shouldn’t try so hard,” Catwoman mused.
“Shit, maybe,” I said. “Apparently quality costumes and staying in character translates to ‘I don’t need money!'”
“Seriously.”
“Maybe I’ll just start coming out with store bought costumes and talk to myself. Look homeless and pathetic, then I’ll do good.”
No one was interested in us. Skintight PVC costumes, pretty faces, nice hair, and yet you go for the 40somethings in six year old outfits who look like they sleep in their costumes (like Homeless Jack). I really don’t get you people.

Super Guy was out when we appeared and said that Superman had been out earlier harassing him. Bat M was hovering about, out of costume, and I don’t know for sure, but I think he’s also trying to start shit. He’s old friends with Superman (they love smoking around all of Superman’s collectibles), but would egg Super Guy on to say something against Superman. The most he would say, though, is that he’s standing his ground and if Superman tries to get violent or gets someone else to do the dirty work, he’s going to fight back.
Some guy also came up to us when we were talking and dodging snipers and mentioned the rapper-character violence that had been on the news.
“Oh, that’s all Bat A’s fault,” Bat M said yet again.
“Swear to god, I’m going to hit you,” I said, and turned away. I already have enough enemies out there because I stumbled into something I knew nothing about (Davy, Sexy Cop, and all their friends), so I’d rather not make any more, but damn. I’m suddenly very tired of all this.

So yeah, crap all around. I’m still looking for a “real” job, but if you pay attention to the world around you, then you know it’s pretty much pissing up a rope at this point. But all I can do is try.

I also keep forgetting two pieces of news I got from a drunk Denim on our night out, so here they are:

1. The ringleader rapper and one other rapper went to jail for two days! They were already out again by the time we got the news, and now I’m afraid they’re madder than ever. Yesterday there was a whole slew of new rappers slinging their shit, and these guys are a lot more vocal. I predict a lot more problems, honestly. One guy wasn’t so bad, he just demanded I smile every time I walked past him, but another guy kept asking for Catwoman’s number and seemed really pushy, to the point that he’d start something at any moment. I’m kind of glad Bat A’s still away, because I know these new guys would give him problems and he’d ask the guys to leave the ladies alone. He doesn’t need more problems right now.
2. Elmo and Big Bird got served by Disney! Apparently they were served with papers a little while ago and can’t do their characters for at least a month, if Denim’s info is correct. I think Big Bird is out as Snoopy right now. But anyway, I guess Disney is doing something with Sesame Street, or is going to, and they didn’t want any SS characters out there during that time. I don’t know the details, I’m just sharing what I know.

And, for good measure, a video I made on the way home:

Funny, I just uploaded that video, and when I went to get the embed code, this video showed up on the sidebar:

It was made a year ago, way before us, but all the old familiar faces are there.

Last video, I swear: How Superheroes Spend Their Day Off

It’s still slooooooow going on the boulevard, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. We went to the Joker’s birthday party last night, and while I only had one weak mojito, I hate rum and I’m still burping it up. It’s disgusting. I blame it for my mind being stupid today, even though I did have quite a lot of Jack Daniel’s last night. At least seven shots? Quite a lot. And rum cake. Anyway, you already know that after I drink I’m stupid for a day, and my memory’s not so great, so I’ll try to remember any good bits that may have happened.

I don’t think I worked Friday. Did I? My dad had surgery for his cancer on Wednesday so I spent a couple of days hanging out with him, which sort of threw me off time-wise. We spent a lot of time watching movies on cable and talked about going to China, I remember that. Oh wait, we did work Friday. Today’s Sunday. Sorry. To make up for the swiss cheese memory, here’s the best picture ever:

the DC universe

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I sometimes feel that the one small square block of Hollywood is a 24-hour crazy zone. Even when we’re around every day, we still miss things and don’t know the whole story. It’s a little irritating, as if your favourite soap opera ran sixteen times a day and you can just never keep up. But it’s life, so I can’t even TiVo it. Hah, like I even have TiVo. Anyway, I’ll try to remember everything that’s happened today, but I always end up forgetting something. Before I get going, though, here’s some gratuitous eye candy for ya:

sweets for the sweet

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I think I’ve been forgetting to mention that Superman’s finally back out on a regular basis. He seemed to have gone MIA for a bit during the holidays, or only stopping by to talk. On my last day of work last year, he walked by in street clothes, the only time I’ve ever seen him “normal.” It was very unsettling.

Anyway, yesterday was a pretty okay day. It was Catwoman’s first in her warm weather costume, Wonder Woman. I stuck it out in my PVC Batgirl, because damnit, I just fixed her up! Heat wave be damned, I’m going to use her before summer comes in. But at least Superman had a great suggestion for a cool costume for me: Zatanna Zatara. *sigh* I know I’ll have to explain this one:

chick in a box

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He’s so cute, a Triscuit! Apples on the table, peaches on the floor, step back, baby, I don’t love you any more! Weird what playground games will stick in your head. Anyway, I don’t really have a boyfriend, though I do have a new crazy admirer to replace Homeless Boyfriend, wherever he may have gone. I think he didn’t like Padmé as much, so he stopped kissing the ground when I walked by. That, or he was finally committed. Anyway . . . I don’t know if I mentioned this before, and I’m too lazy to go digging back through the old posts to see, but there’s a new Michael Jackson on the boulevard!

I'm white!

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Well, I’m afraid I’ll have to start out with the sad news. Bat A wrote me this morning through MySpace and said that he’s leaving for who knows how long. He’d mentioned before that he would have to go back to the motherland for a bit, but it sounds like the visit was extended and pushed forward, because things are just getting too ugly down here. It was a very sweet letter, especially considering the fact that he’s found this blog (hello, dear!), and it made me sad in a very bittersweet way. While I thought he was just being cranky or maybe avoiding me, being silly and egocentric, he’s apparently been going through a lot behind the scenes, so I’d just like to say that all the cranky bits I’d written in the past are moot and he will always and forever be my Batman. I’m sorry we won’t be able to work together, but I’m so happy we had the time on the boulevard that we did, that I met him, and that we’ll hopefully keep in touch while he gets a much needed break. I’ll miss him terribly.
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I really have to be more careful when typing. When I was uploading new pictures to Flickr just now, twice I typed in this blog’s address as hhherpes.wordpress.com. Um. That must be Paris Hilton’s blog. Just a warning to those of you who think that one letter can’t make that big a difference.

So today was another busy day, though time seemed to move slower today. I did better financially for nearly the same amount of time, but we had more down time and more people trying to stiff us today. Vader lost his temper again and refused to pose for a photo until people had paid up, because too many people would say, “Okay, I know how it works” impatiently before the photos, then pretend to not know English or think one dollar would suffice for four people. Right. Be careful, if you’re thinking of stiffing any masked character, folks. They have mouths and they talk some mean shit, and you can’t even hear because of the masks — but everyone else can. Also, some of us will follow at a discreet distance and warn other characters that you’re a deadbeat so you don’t scam anyone else. Okay, I do that when I can. So don’t think you’re clever and you’ve found a new way to scam people, we know it all. Most of the time we just let you get away with it while calling you retarded or an asshat, just so you know. You’re not smart, but we’ll let you keep thinking you are.
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Today was my last day of work until after Christmas. I was actually planning on working Christmas Eve morning (confusing?), then heading straight over to my dad’s side of the family for our usual all night thing, but it’s going to rain all day, so neh. I’m really glad I made the cookies yesterday, then, ’cause otherwise no one would have had them before the holidays.

If you’ve been jonesing for some strangeness and felt the last couple entries have been lacking, let me welcome you back into the fold:

Naked Guy

Today sucked a bit less than yesterday, which was good. After about fifteen minutes on the boulevard today I wanted to go back home crying, but I’m sure a big part of it is because I’m really introverted and shy and groups of catty sluts like to gang up on me when I’m alone. (“How can you be introverted with a mouth like that?” you may ask, to which my answer is, “Words are my defense.”)

Before I launch into today’s craziness, let’s take a moment to relax and enjoy the random bits of beauty in Hollywood:

Hollywood & Vine

Wow. I’m so glad BatgirlAmidala has this wonder-writing power. I just want to get back to the boulevard and the craziness! Right now I’m sitting at my family’s dining room table, on my laptop, wishing I could speed this vacation along. I know, family is important. I missed two auditions last week though. BUT I got put on hold for some work in January on an internet commercial. I shall say no more… don’t want to totally jinx it. Well, since I have no news to add… I’m going to add pictures!

Screw you, Joker! I’m in charge now! See how high I can kick?! (more…)